On your bike
Absolutely no idea how to start this blog so I'm just going to launch straight in which is pretty much a metaphor for my life, or about half of it anyway. I'm not going to introduce myself ,you will either meet me as we go along or you'll decide not to come along for the ride.
If you've stumbled upon this blog it will probably be because you have or know someone who has cyclothymia or bipolar, if this is the case I feel sorry for you or glad for you depending on the present mood of the 'sufferer'. I once read that someone with bipolar (and all its forms) was asked if they were offered a pill that would rid them of their condition would they do it? The Matrix scenario if you like, the blue pill or the red pill? I can't remember their answer, I can only give you mine - never.
There have been some truly horrendous times, it has almost killed me and I've shed far more tears than is reasonable in any lifetime, I have tears in my eyes as I'm writing this, but whether I've just been lucky or whether I am under the influence of a manic right now, I would never give up the highs I've experienced. I have been lucky, I do know that. My illness has only led to hospitalisation once and that was for a suicide attempt. I have only attemped it once and it was a pretty piss poor attempt to be honest but it kind of brought me to my senses, whilst it has flowed through my mind on several occasions the same could be said for most people I think and I won't act on it again.
On a good day (a manic day) I could do anything I put my mind to, I am invincible, nothing is beyond me. I work in the medical profession, on one magical manic morning a patient ate a sticking plaster which he then puked into his bowl of porridge and presented to me, no problem! Another patient decided to redecorate the lavatory with fecal matter which I opened the door to, no problem! Ulcerated legs, hoists, I handled everything that day with joy. On those days I am creative, clever, pretty, hilariously witty and a mighty fine human being.
Unfortunately these days grow fewer every year, and I know that for some people these are the hardest days, the times they end up losing themselves. My 'manics' take on a more annoying form now, my brain is simply on high speed and sleep becomes a luxury.
If you've stumbled upon this blog it will probably be because you have or know someone who has cyclothymia or bipolar, if this is the case I feel sorry for you or glad for you depending on the present mood of the 'sufferer'. I once read that someone with bipolar (and all its forms) was asked if they were offered a pill that would rid them of their condition would they do it? The Matrix scenario if you like, the blue pill or the red pill? I can't remember their answer, I can only give you mine - never.
There have been some truly horrendous times, it has almost killed me and I've shed far more tears than is reasonable in any lifetime, I have tears in my eyes as I'm writing this, but whether I've just been lucky or whether I am under the influence of a manic right now, I would never give up the highs I've experienced. I have been lucky, I do know that. My illness has only led to hospitalisation once and that was for a suicide attempt. I have only attemped it once and it was a pretty piss poor attempt to be honest but it kind of brought me to my senses, whilst it has flowed through my mind on several occasions the same could be said for most people I think and I won't act on it again.
On a good day (a manic day) I could do anything I put my mind to, I am invincible, nothing is beyond me. I work in the medical profession, on one magical manic morning a patient ate a sticking plaster which he then puked into his bowl of porridge and presented to me, no problem! Another patient decided to redecorate the lavatory with fecal matter which I opened the door to, no problem! Ulcerated legs, hoists, I handled everything that day with joy. On those days I am creative, clever, pretty, hilariously witty and a mighty fine human being.
Unfortunately these days grow fewer every year, and I know that for some people these are the hardest days, the times they end up losing themselves. My 'manics' take on a more annoying form now, my brain is simply on high speed and sleep becomes a luxury.
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